Today I think my mum guilt levels have peaked. There’s not one specific reason, no major incident, more just a realisation that as hard as I try I can’t be everything all the time.
I love being a mum, I believe it’s been the making of me and can’t honestly remember life before I became a mum. I wouldn’t change my life for anything (well maybe a few extra digits in my bank balance), I know I’m so incredibly lucky to have two such wonderful children and an amazing partner.
Today I took Harley to a gymnastics class for a free trial session. Leaving with good time I’d planned to get there early in order to get a good car parking space (so essential now I need space on both sides of the car) and was off to a great start until Ada pooed and we needed to do a quick dash to the baby change. I hadn’t really thought through the concept of taking a baby and toddler to a toddler gymnastics class. Harley needed help getting up and down the equipment whilst Ada wanted to be held. The class ended up being a constant balancing act of keeping Ada happy whilst helping Harley and neither of them left the class in the best mood. Even the instructor didn’t approach me to find out if I wanted to sign-up. Don’t think we’ll be going back there again. LOL.
I’ve basically realised that there’s guilt associated with everything. Guilt for Harley that he has to share me and doesn’t really get my full attention when Ada is awake and equally guilt that Ada has to share me with Harley. Guilt that I don’t know exactly how many weeks and days old Ada is like I did with Harley, guilt that Ada doesn’t go to any baby classes, basically just guilt. Not to mention the fact that general life has been massively neglected. But one thing I do know is that I am doing my very best.
There’s no real reason for this blog post other than I needed to write it all down. Tomorrow is a new day and all that jazz.
The Aspiring Yummy Mummy. x